“Have you ever had a life preserver in your life?”

It goes without saying that life can be a handful at times and without some much needed help in our lives we might not survive! By now we may have been told that we should not always lean on our own understanding. That implies that we need help throughout life and we simply do not have all the answers or at least the correct answers. We have all kicked ourselves because we made a misstep or just screwed things up. Most if not all of us have a network of friends, family or coworkers that we can lean on from time to time to keep us honest or provide much needed guidance. If we let our stubbornness get the best of us by refusing to reach out to others for help, we are just asking for a rocky road. Think back to the last time you made a misstep and ask yourself what could you have done differently to make that situation a more positive one? If you went at it alone, maybe just maybe it could have been a different outcome had you been open to assistance.

The people in our lives that have or can help us can feel like life savers in so many instances. Have you ever heard someone be so gracious that they referred to the person that helped them as their life saver? We use the term life saver loosely; however, when you think of the literal term and its importance it makes so much sense. Imagine you are not a strong swimmer at all, you just fell overboard and the seas are rough, what are the odds that you will save yourself? You may last a few minutes at best as you struggle to stay afloat. As soon as the boat crew takes action and tosses out the life preserver, a sigh of relief comes over you because without assistance you more than likely would not survive. The next time you are trouble or are contemplating an important decision, look to your live saver for help. If we utilize the life savers that have been placed in our lives, our chances of survival with each new challenge or decision may just turn out to be better than it would if we only relied on our self.

“Instead of asking why me, ask yourself why not me?”

We witness success all around us on the television, in the news, our friends, our coworkers and we should expect the same for ourselves. When opportunities become available do we automatically count ourselves out, if so why? We should all define what success looks like for us, not our parents or friends or family. If we want success we have to first believe in ourselves and make it happen. We are quick to provide all the reasons why we will not or should not be considered for a great opportunity in life. We are quick to say “why would anyone consider me?” Since we have thought long and hard about why we cannot achieve something, we are doing ourselves a disservice and essentially getting in our own way!

Instead of asking why me, ask why not me! Focus on all of the reasons we can achieve something or what we need to do to get us closer to where we want to be. Small successes lead to bigger successes that can lead to even bigger successes. Life is a process and we will do well to follow the steps to success. We can all achieve what we put our minds to, the most important aspects of success is our self-belief and the efforts we put forth to achieving our goals. The next time a great opportunity presents itself, ask yourself why not me?

“Are you okay with the truth even if it hurts?”

Telling the absolute truth may not always seem like the best route to go. The truth can definitely hurt and people may appreciate the truth but that does not mean they will always take it well! In relationships when things are not working out so well, there is always someone that says if you don’t want to be with me just say so. And then when they get breaking news from their partner that it is over, they blow a gasket! Did they really want to know the truth? Every time your boss calls you into the office you automatically assume there is something wrong. If you are a valuable employee most times nothing is wrong at all. We all make mistakes at work whether we want to admit it or not; however, when we get that feedback or truth we don’t always take it well. Now when we interviewed for the job, we might have been asked the question, ‘how do you take criticism?’ Since you got the job you must have answered that question well but that doesn’t mean the truth won’t hurt.

We know better than anyone what we have done wrong in our lives and that we are going to continue to do some wrong. Honesty and truth are very important and it’s how we handle the truth that matters even more. There is a famous line in a movie that says “you can’t handle truth” and we know how that movie ends.  The truth may hurt but we need the truth so that we can make adjustments. The old adage the truth will set you free can free you from the things could be holding you back from being the best version of yourself. There are no guarantees in life so don’t react negatively to someone’s truth if you don’t agree with it. Take it with a grain of salt and learn from it or just state your perspective on the matter. Instead of the truth hurting, make the truth work for you.

“Do you have things or people in your life that weigh you down or make it difficult for your soar?”

As we look around our lives we probably have a lot going and sometimes it can get overwhelming. Life can feel like an uphill climb and the lighter the load the better so we don’t tire out. There are things and people that will certainly add weight to our journey up the hill of life. Do you have bad associations that add weight to your journey? Have you ever considered the impact of the people that are not liked-minded with you, are their weight? If there are people in your life that causes friction on a regular basis, does this impact you directly or indirectly? Do you have distractions that weigh you down and make it more difficult for you to stay on track? Is there reoccurring drama from others that adds dead weight and frustration to your life? Discouragers can also add unwanted weight to our lives by discounting our efforts or ideas and we lose the zest we previously had. There are also people that appear to be idols or envious that could make you feel guilty for you own success or achievements. Our closest friends could be compelled to compete with us as oppose to being a support network. These dead weights are impeding our progress in life.

Identifying the dead weight in our lives can help tremendously as we climb the hill of life. When we make good decisions or remove a weight the relief we feel can be overwhelming at times. We have more energy and we can feel that what we want to accomplish is easier to achieve. Our focus can now shift from compensating for the weight to moving forward. Not only do we feel better when a weight is removed but we can identify weights approaching our lives before they weight us down. If we are dealing with dead weight and other things that are slowing us down, we must remove these weights so that we can not only climb but soar to the top or our climb in life.

“Are you okay with the new normal or are you stuck in the past?”

Life changes at a moment’s notice or gradually over time. How well do you deal with change? Does it sneak up on you before you know it or do you anticipate it and prepare ahead of time? Changes in your life are constantly going on, it’s how to adjust or manage them that is the real challenge. If we focus too much on how things were or how we want things to be, that could very well be why change sneaks up on us.  You may ask yourself, why did things have to change? You may simply resist the change all together because the change represents something new or uncomfortable. Things that make us uncomfortable could be a sign of growth if we embrace the change and we are not resistant.

When we feel change occurring, instead of saying to ourselves that this is not normal, we will do well to look at it as the new normal. The old saying out with the old and in with the new, we can apply this to our new normal. The faster we recognize the change that is occurring or we realize the need for us to create change, the less we will be stuck in the past. Instead of using our energy to focus on the past we will in turn focus our energy on adjusting to the new normal. Change is occurring all around us and those that do not anticipate, embrace or create change may be left behind or struggle in life. Look around at your life and see if you can identify a change this is occurring now or is up coming. Once you identify it, refer to it as the new normal; understand what this change means for you and begin making the adjustments as soon possible. You will no longer be stuck in the past and you will be okay with your new normal.

“Diet and Exercise go together”

Eating whatever we want and thinking that we can run it off at the gym or make up for it later with intense exercise is asking for unhealthiness.  When we don’t see results soon we tend to give up or throw in the towel. We are working against ourselves if we keep eating fast food, starchy foods, foods with preservatives, high fat content foods etc. The older we get the easier it is to gain weight and the harder it is to lose it.  Gaining more weight and a poor diet can lead the dependency on medication for all kinds of aliments. The cost of medication is probably more than the slightly higher cost of fresh and healthy foods.

If you are planning to work out today, fuel your body with foods that provide energy, nutrients and the vitamins that you need to have a productive workout. Educate yourself on foods that increase fat gain and foods that increase fat burn. Eat with a passion to be healthy and incorporate organic foods that are without ingredients that are bad for your health. If you are a label reader, stick with foods that have no labels. Fresh fruits and vegetables have no ingredients listed because they are the only ingredient. Eat proteins that are low in fat and are free from harmful chemicals. You will get much better results if you help your workouts by exercising to attack the fat you already have, don’t create more. Change your diet, vary your workouts, and help your body be as fit as you can while eating foods that are fun and healthy to eat.

“Budget, spending and savings are important.”

When was the last time you sat down and created a budget, I mean a serious look at how much money is coming in to your home business and how much money is going out to pay for your home business expenses. If you are not sure whether or not you are living outside of your means the budget will tell you whether or not you are. If you are living outside of your means then your business has a loss each month. The loss is being covered up by either credit cards or loans to make up the difference. Minimizing or eliminating credit card debt is great for your home business’ bottom line. Sit down and list all of the things that you have to pay each month, mortgage/rent, utilities, phone, internet/cable, car insurance, food and anything else that is paid month over month. Don’t forget to add in the things that you have been so accustomed to paying for like golf, hair and nails, gym memberships, lunch, credit card payments etc. Once you compare your expenses with the household income you can see if you are making a profit (savings) or at a loss (living off credit cards or loans.) Don’t be scared this is good thing and tells the true picture of how you are running your home business.

Now that you have a budget you can look for items that can be cut or reduced. Make a plan to eliminate all credit card debt; you may have to stop doing the things you love to do temporarily until you get your budget in good shape. Try sticking to one car payment at a time, the key is choosing cars that last with the expectation that when the car is paid for you should plan to go without having one car payment for a minimum of one year. When one car payment is paid off, continue paying yourself the same amount that you were paying to your car loan as this will increase your savings and discourage you from spending it on something new. See if your utility companies have equal pay or budget plans and sign up for them so you create fixed utility expenses. Check around for home and auto insurance rates every two years to make sure you are getting the most competitive rate. Are you investing in stocks or IRA’s while paying high interest on credit card payments? If so kill the investments and put that money towards paying off the credit cards and invest when you are credit card debt free. Saving $400.00 per month should net you with $4800.00 of annual profits (savings.) When you pay off a bill, take that same money and now pay yourself which will add to your profits. Remember a business is in business to make a profit not to lose money or shut down. Take the same attitude and make sure you are making a home business profit, the first step it knowing how much money you should be able to save monthly and annually. The key is to know what you are working with and making your money work for you every month and in turn each year.

“Do we own up to our mistakes or cover them up?”

Since we are all imperfect we are going to make mistakes more often than we would expect. As we get older we should become wiser; however that doesn’t completely diminish mistakes on our part. What we do next is often just as important as the mistake itself. Do we own up to our mistakes or look for ways to hide them or cover them up? Are we quick to put the blame on someone else or on some other reason? It is not so farfetched that we may be creating other problems by not owning up to or covering up our mistakes. The last time someone made a mistake that affected us whether intentional or unintentional, was more than likely looked over if that person owned up to the mistake as oppose to covering it up. When people don’t own up to their short comings, they inevitably are losing our trust and their integrity. What’s in it for us if we own it?

Admitting to our mistakes is a great way to show that we are human and that we are a work in progress as we strive daily to be better and do better. Being honest usually goes over very well when there were good intentions when the mistake was made. Learning from mistakes can be vital to our individual growth and maturity. By now we should have all learned that experience is the best teacher meaning we can certainly do well by learning from our mistakes. With each misstep we gain experience if we take the time to learn from our mistakes. As we train ourselves and obtain more knowledge from our mistakes, we can look forward to not repeating the same mistakes over and over again. As we learn through our own experiences by first owning it, we can become better people through continuous self-improvement.

“Should men and women’s equality be conditional?”

Women should be paid and treated the same as men in all walks of life. Women should be given the respect that they deserve in the form of equal pay and the confidence to women that have earned it. Women are certainly qualified, capable, skilled and educated to do the same jobs as men and maybe more so than a lot of men. Men, especially white men, have been afforded the benefit of the doubt and at times are handed opportunities that they are not qualified for. Some experts have come to the determination that white men are given opportunities simply because of who they know or the fact that they resemble those making the hiring decisions. There are career driven women and stay at home moms that provide value to their employers and their families. Are women valued the same as men when on equal footing? When men and women have the ability to be on a level playing field, then women should be both valued the same and should also have equal expectations. Women’s inequality is a subject that continues to get overlooked and swept under the rug. There are many people that need to adjust their thought process and do the right thing on both sides.

Should women’s equality be conditional? Once we fix the inequities does chivalry go away? Are women taking advantage of chivalry by benefiting from being treated differently because of their gender, using the damsel in distress when convenient? No matter what our genders are, we can all use a little help from time to time because we simply are not great at everything. Should men never be expected to cook because women are expected to do it? Should dads not be stay at home dad’s when it is in the best interest of the family to do so? Men can certainly be providers while women are nurturers; however, men should not be expected to provide all or the majority of the financial support when the woman is working and can contribute to the household. Everyone should be treated with equality and respect but there should not be conditions when it is convenient if it benefits one gender or another. Within relationships there can be a mutual benefit to equally shared responsibilities in the household or relationship. Physically couples can equally share the things that keep the house in order such as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash and laundry. Financially, the household expenses can be more than effectively managed when both persons are equally contributing to the house fund. Encouragement should come from both persons as the relationship is not in place to support only one gender. Let’s demand equality regardless of gender. Let’s change our own perspectives so we do not negatively contribute to the notion of inequality. Let’s categorize chivalry as a desired action related to the courtship of one person from another and not an excuse to benefit from gender inequality.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment!

“Grow through what you go through”

Let me start by saying that life is difficult, challenging, exhausting and so much more. Life is an experience and we are taught every day of our lives something new. We go through things that we cannot plan for and things that break us down little by little. Life can be so overwhelming at times that we fall into our own funk and the only person that can get us out is ourselves with some help from a higher belief. Life’s challenges often come in three’s, they often come without warning, they sometime never go away or there is no fix for them. What do we do and how do we survive? Do we succumb and be defeated or do we take life head on and not only survive but thrive?

We can grow through what we go through by being students of life. We can learn so much from our successes and failures that we must reflect on them and use our experiences as a source of power. Look back at this year and summarize all of the things you have survived through and highlight what you have learned from each experience. When you put all the things together that life has thrown your way and see how much you have grown from each experience you will be amazed at the ongoing transformation that has taken place. As you take on each challenge you are adding new life muscles to your physique. Just like a workout it’s not easy but the results show over time if you put in the work. The more we grow the more we know. The next time you are in a situation that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, this may just be an indicator that growth is coming or required. Knowing that growth is upon you and embracing the opportunity to grow will allow you to grow through what you go through.

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