“How can we be United if there is division everywhere?”

We have referred to the North American country we live in as the United States of America; however, there is little if any evidence that the USA is actually united. There is separatism and division that is evident in key areas and it’s time for a different approach. The forefathers and the principles that this country was founded upon have not evolved when we live in a world that is characterized by continuous change. You can cross one state line and enter another state and the laws are so different. You may be able to gamble in one state but not another. You may buy marijuana legally in one state but once you cross into a neighboring state it is illegal to buy marijuana. You can move to another state, and you must then obtain a new driver’s license due to the laws being different from one state to another. The Government is divided into two political parties, the Republicans and Democrats, who do not have the country’s best interest at hand and instead set out to position themselves to gain power and/or are driven by their own agendas. There are significant divisions amongst the citizens based on race, class, wealth and education throughout the country. We are the Connected States of American and unity does not exist

It may be time to federalize the country to ensure there is consistency, accountability, equity and inclusion in the critical areas that should not vary from state to state. There should be a Federal Drivers License that permits you to drive in any state and you should only have to change your address to match your actual residence. Eliminate the democratic and republican parties and work together with the best interest of the country and its citizens; run the country like the big business it is. Have the Military take over all local and state policy entities to create police reform. Military as the police would do a much better and more consistent job at policing our cities and towns. Today’s police act when they suspect crime versus the military who don’t act without orders from those in charge. The Military sends out teams to do reconnaissance prior to taking action to assess the situation and determine a strategy. Could this approach significantly reduce or eliminate the injustice and harm we’ve witnessed far to often to people of color and to prevent other innocent people from dying? There have been countless occurrences that serve as evidence that the approach being used today is not effective. Until the country units together, we need to be honest with ourselves by acknowledging that we are living in the Connected States of America!

“Don’t let your feelings win over your mind!

Have you ever been over emotional and made a knee-jerked reaction or regretted that decision after having time to think about it rationally? More than likely, you would have made a different decision or handled things better. Many experts advise people to avoid making emotionally driven decisions when making large purchases such as a car or a home. If we are making decisions based off our feelings, then we are not considering other factors that tend to come back and haunt us later. Our feelings and emotions are not as concerned about budgets, practicality, or how something may impact us down the road. Emotionally driven decisions are driven by what makes us feel good in the moment or something that has caught our eye and we just want it without really thinking it through. Our feelings can be initiated much easier than our minds which tend to require some thought and effort on our parts. It is not our minds that we must control but it is more likely our feelings that need to be controlled to keep them in check. If we were to look back at some of the decisions we’ve made in the past, were they based on feeling or did we use our minds? Of those decisions, ask yourself were they good or bad decisions.

In order to be better at decision making, we must remove or balance our feelings from decisions that should be based more practicality, costs, time, and long-term impacts to name a few. We’ve all heard of the concept of weighing the pros and cons. We will do well if we use our minds to make important decisions by truly putting some thought into it, whether it be listing out the pros and cons, evaluating the costs and future costs of a purchase such as a car or home. We must do our due diligence and research information so that we are educated enough to make an informed decision. If we are on the verge of a decision regarding something we are not that familiar with, we can ask and expert in that field, speak with a family member or friend that has knowledge about the subject, and we can do our own research to familiarize ourselves with the topic. This will avoid allowing feelings to drive our decisions and lean more on our minds. As we grow, we gain experience and as we apply what we’ve learned we gain wisdom, don’t let our feelings win over your mind!

“Do you have a clear sense of purpose and are you aligned with it?”

Have you ever noticed someone who appears to be lost in their way or just wandering about with no real destination? They appear out of sorts and confused with no real purpose. We too can feel this way in our everyday lives if we don’t have a purpose. When’s the last time you’ve asked yourself if you were just going with the flow? Do you wake up each day with a direction, goals, or a sense of purpose? Are you willing to take a calculated risk? Are you in your own way or are great at coming up with excuses why you can’t succeed? Are you afraid to make life changing decisions? If any of the answers to these questions are yes, then it may be time for a change in behavior.

Notice the characteristics of someone with a purpose in life: they are passionate, unwavering, excited, willing to help others with the same passion, and most importantly exudes positivity. If you don’t know your purpose, are you looking for it by exploring and doing the research on what makes your life more meaningful? We can do well by starting to change what we are giving our time to. Once you’ve identified your purpose make it the priority in your life! Every day of your life should contribute to or help evolve your purpose in life. Gravitate to those that can enhance your purpose or have a similar one. Create affirmations for yourself daily instead of finding reasons that you can’t accomplish your goals or carry out your purpose. Don’t do what’s popular, do what works for you! Once we have a clear sense of purpose in our lives and we are aligned with it on a regular basis, our lives can be so much more fulfilling.

“Use the weekend to build the life you want, not to escape the one you have!”

What do you spend your weekends or your free time on? Do you use this time to escape reality or the life that you have created for yourself? Is your time spent on partying, entertainment, travel, or other things that may consume all of your time? We all get TGIF syndrome where the week has worn us down and we cannot wait for the weekend to arrive. After a tough workweek along with the mundane things in life the last thing we may want to do is build anything or do anything other than relax and have some fun. If one hundred percent of you time is being devoted to things that allow you a break from your responsibilities for a short time, there are going to be things that never get accomplished. If we do not maintain balance in our lives, we may be doing a disservice to ourselves.

Your weekends can be spent building as pose to escaping, such as starting a business, updating your home, living a healthy lifestyle or anything that that enhances your life. Weekends represent just under thirty percent of each of our weeks and we could get a lot accomplished if we consistently apply ourselves. Why not look at you weekends as valuable time to create and/or build a life that is continuously evolving. Set goals both small and large and start chipping away at those things that are waiting to be tackled or accomplished. As you begin to build, you will begin to create momentum which will turn into ongoing creation. Instead of escaping the life you have utilize the weekends to build the life you desire.

“Are all of your connections intact and working efficiently?”

Have you ever looked at your relationship to make sure all of your connections are linked? When all of our connections are not secure there may be trouble. If communication within your relationship is challenging the result could be frustration, regular disagreements and more times than not arguments. How about our connection to our hearts, is it flowing both ways? If our hearts are not synchronized with our partners then hearts can be misled or broken. Not having reciprocal love or feelings can leave a bad taste in our mouths. Our physical connections are also vital to our relationships when it comes to touch, affection and intimacy. A telltale sign of relationships that are coming to an end is when the physical connection no longer exists. There is no affection, intimacy is gone and many choose to keep their distance due to the broken physical connection.

When all of your connections are established and continuous the relationship should be a very good one. The order in which we establish our connections is key and must be done in the beginning. As we get to know our mates we look for the first connection to be established through conversation and dialogue. This connection allows each person to get to know each other, share beliefs and understand if each person is intellectually compatible. As each person begins to get to know each other feelings tend to grow which establishes an inner connection. With connections flowing for both intellectual and feelings standpoint the physical connection is ready to be explored. Attraction can be more than just physical; however, a couple’s compatibility can be visual as they interact with each other starting with holding hands, the first kiss and being comfortable in each other’s space. As the physical connection grows stronger so does the intimacy. When all three connections are working in synch and strong a relationship can not only be a fruitful one but it can endure the many challenges that relationships present. As we look within our current or new relationships we will do well by evaluating each of these important connections.

“No matter what right is right and wrong is wrong!”

We were raised by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles or whomever our guardians were not to do wrong but to do right. There are consequences for doing wrong and there is little to no recognition for doing the right thing. We were raised to do right, provided rules during our schooling and were taught laws of the land. The rules were enforced for those that elect to do wrong so why is there so much wrong doing in the world? Often times we make deliberate decisions that result in wrong doing and we attempt to justify our actions, nevertheless it’s still wrong! Excuses also come into play as we sometimes commit a wrong because a wrong was done to us first, nevertheless it’s still wrong. Are we slow to admit when we are wrong, well this is no better than not owning our mistakes. Do we learn from our wrong doings or do we shrug our shoulders and overlook the opportunity to right a wrong?

What would our world be like if everyone set out to do the right thing all the time unless they did not know what they were doing or saying was wrong. The key is what we decide to do once we know the difference between right and wrong! When we do the right thing there is inner peace and a sense of fulfillment. The more right we do the better our character is and those around us see the value in our ways. It’s rare that ambiguity exists when it comes to right versus wrong, right is right and wrong is wrong. We must be the example to our children and not say do as I say but not do as I do. We all have a mutual responsibility to do the right thing as much as possible while learning from our missteps. If we focus on right we can all positively influence the world we live in.

“This was written earlier this year and I have not altered it to demonstrate that regardless of today’s climate we ALL need to do RIGHT!”

“A partner is key to achieving more!”

Have you ever tried to take on a task that would have been so much easier to accomplish with another set of hands to help you? Many of us have taken a stubborn approach to life convincing ourselves that we don’t need any help and we will be just fine on our own. If we take life on by ourselves are we selling ourselves short? We are more than likely going to accomplish less without a partner and make life a bit more challenging to say the least. Without a partner we can be inconsistent with our efforts, we tend to have less focus. Without a partner we give up easier when times get tough, things just never get done. Without a partner our progress is much slower and our aspirations can feel daunting.

If we have a partner and have not allowed them to participate or be a part of our aspirations then it’s time to let them in and combine forces to achieve more in life. If we don’t have a partner then make it a point to find one that matches your life’s vision or someone that has a similar vision where the both of you can benefit from each other. Be open to learning from each other as everyone has something to offer and you may be surprised by what others want and can achieve if you just have the conversations. Be choosy in the partner you pick and make sure they are a positive influence and they don’t become a detractor or negative influence. Put your plan together, compromise, be willing to make adjustments along the way and avoid the mentality of it’s my way or the highway. We all need help along the way and can achieve so much more with the right partner in life!

“We must deal with what is real instead of what should be!”

Have you ever been stuck on how your life is in its current state? At times we can be consumed with all of the things that have not gone according to plan and we continue to live in frustration. Some of us had a dream of how our life would consist of such as having a great job, a big house, our dream car, being happily married with kids and a few pets etc. Well if you are living your dream you’re probably in the minority as the rest of us are asking ourselves the question what happened? There comes a point in life where many of us have embraced our reality and we may even blame others where we are in life. It may be time for a reality check.

The old adage that life gives us lemons and we have to make lemonade with them or whatever you favorite food made of lemons is, can be very fitting here. What are we going to make out of life with what we have today and where we are? It may be a good time to pause and re-evaluate what our life is and make the most out of our circumstances until we can change them to be what we want. Let’s focus on the good that is present in our lives including reflecting on the progress we have made up until this point. Be okay that our life vision has changed a bit; however, we cannot be complacent and we must continue to set new goals and reset them over and over again. We may have reoccurring dreams when we sleep at night but it does not mean that we won’t have new dreams along the way. Be okay with altering you dream by incorporating our reality as we strive to improve our lives.

“We can be the light in the darkness!”

Everything around us can feel dark, gloomy, depressive and full of negativity at times. We are exposed to bad influences or we can be the bad influence and not even realize it. There are times throughout our lives where there is a lack of hope and things look bleak. People turn to drugs and alcohol or other vices to numb the pain of life. How does someone dig themselves out of the being destitute or lacking hope? How do people get out of their own way? What are the things that individuals can do to improve their lot in life? Is it realistic to think that regardless of our circumstances, whether self-inflicted or not, that any of us can guide ourselves to a better space whether it be related to our mental, physical, emotional or financial state. We may need to lean on someone else if we are being honest with ourselves.

Those that are in a dark place and are struggling need assistance at times and those that are in a great place can help. We can be someone else’s light by encouraging them, guiding them, inspiring them and being a positive influence in their life. Most if not all of us are willing to help someone that wants to help themselves. As we look around at our family, friends, co-workers and classmates, there are people that need our help. You never know the impact that you can make that may be the very spark that gets someone back on track in life. We must not put ourselves at risk by providing help that ultimately hurts us. We can be a source of inspiration and knowledge as so many people in the world are without mentors. As good people get lost, we can be the light that illuminates the dark and provide hope for those we come in contact with.

“Be proud to be of color but think white!”

Minorities often complain about the inequities that can be seen in the world that has been dictated and has been beneficial by Whites generation after generation. Today minorities are as close as they have ever been, at any time period in history, to closing the gap which is still extremely wide. Poverty is the far to common for blacks and those of color. People of color are routinely categorized as lower middle class, and are not far from poverty. Upper middle class for blacks is not living paycheck to paycheck and being able to take vacations, save for retirement, buy a home comfortably and other things that represent a decent quality of life.  Blacks don’t regularly look at wealth as being realistic, whereas whites expect wealth, live wealthy, get wealthier and cannot fathom not being wealthy. Whites hire people that look like them whether they are qualified or not and keep the great jobs in the family or in their race. Where do we start to change our way of thinking, is it education, entrepreneurship, by owning our communities? When are we going to stop saying whatever I have is going to my grave with me!

Build wealth and leaving a legacy is a great place to start. How many of you friends are well off because their parents or close relatives left them something of significance such as an inheritance of liquid assets, property or a lucrative business. As young adults did we embrace the advice given to us by our parents or those that were influential to us? Did we create a tougher life for ourselves because we did what we wanted in lieu of what we needed to do? We have to start making two parent homes the standard and not the exception. With power comes great responsibility; with ownership comes power to make change including who we hire. We have to lives within our needs and not within our means; we cannot create wealth if we are making others wealthy through conspicuous consumption. We must balance our spending with asset accumulation. We must start raising the bar on everything we touch including our careers, empowering our children, wealth management, and understanding things outside of what we know to increase our knowledge. Life insurance and real estate ownership can leave our beneficiaries assets that can be expounded upon with each generation. Changing our ways does not mean we change our color.