“Our aspirations turn into inspirations for others.”

Have you been around people that constantly make you shake your head (smh) because you question what they are doing with their life? None of us are perfect so we shouldn’t judge but we should encourage those around us to be the best they can be. Many people are content with doing nothing that is groundbreaking and they are okay with going in the opposite direction of the flow as oppose to going with it or creating their own flow. If we are not careful we can become uninspired by those around us and it won’t be too long before we are heading in the wrong direction. After a while we will probably get tired of being uninspired but by then we have lost so much ground. The negative influences that can surround us can be devastating to say the least if we are not doing things to counteract them and create our own positive aura.

As we look to aspire to be more each day, each week and each year there are positive aspects that will impact our lives. What about those around us or that we come in contact with, how will they be affected? I’m sure there are people that have told each of us that they were either proud of something we accomplished or acknowledged the good work we have done in the past. More people are taking note of our accomplishments and as we strive to do more with our lives than the previous year. The people around us may even be inspired by our own aspirations. As we set out to do something new we tend to get questions from others even if they don’t fully understand our objectives or they just wouldn’t have been interested in doing the same thing themselves. Have you ever gotten upset that someone you know is now doing the same thing you did several months or years ago? Why be upset as they may have just given you a compliment which is that they liked what you did so much they copied you. Don’t look at it as a negative look at it as what it really is, inspirational. We can have an indirect influence on others as they look from a far as they are inspired by our aspirations.

“Endure the night our joy will come in the morning.”

There are things that happen in life, don’t let life happen to you is a very powerful statement. We have all felt like victims of circumstances at one time or another. How did we handle these circumstances and challenges? Sometimes the circumstances are unbearable or devastating and we get lost in the pain. When we have endured a lot during these times, there were more than likely times where we just felt like giving in or up all together. Have you been through a nasty divorce? Nasty and divorce seem to be synonymous with each other and can go on for years and destroy a family. When we make it to the other side there is a feeling of relief and a new energy to continue on. Losing a significant person in your life such as a spouse, friend, parent, sibling or child can be one of the worst times of our lives. With these insurmountable challenges we must find a way to survive.

Trouble doesn’t last always and we have to continue to fight. We must find hope in the positive aspects of our life and lean on them. We must take a step back and take one day at a time looking for ways to improve our outlook not add to the madness. Every time we go through something that is challenging it makes us stronger both mentally and emotionally. We add survival tools with each day and night that we continue to endure. How can we make life count no matter what the circumstances are? Divorce is an opportunity to find a more appropriate match. Divorce is experience gained and we must take note of the life lessons learned from this experience. We should appreciate the good times and use the bad times as leverage as we raise the bar higher in our next relationship. When someone close passes away, continue to live as though they are with you so you don’t lose the things gained from those relationships that have changed as a result of life changes. These and other challenges can be the period in which we have to pick ourselves up, hit the reset button once more, and endure the night knowing that our joy will be coming tomorrow.

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“Are you raising your man or enjoying him?”

Men often encounter the scrutiny of women in the beginning of new relationships especially related to whether or not that man has their shit (pardon my French) together! Let me start by saying we are not talking about men in their early 20’s who are still figuring out manhood and all the things that go with it. I am talking about age 30 and over and men that need to be raised by women! Women may take a chance on a man that does not have their shit together but has potential to get their life in order. So the women proceeds to get involved with the man only to find out that several months or years later the man is still trying to get their stuff together. They live with their mothers or their girlfriend, cannot seem to hold down a steady job (good job that is career oriented), does not have their own car, does not automatically reach for the check at dinner, or is just not working towards any goals and seems to be in limbo or in a rut. If you are that woman this is trying to wait on your man’s potential and not getting anywhere, why are you complaining?

How would life be if you met or had a man that was the complete opposite and you didn’t need to raise that man? He would be career driven with aspirations and goals that were not just talk but were works in progress. He came with his own car, very good job or working towards one, and had no problem picking up the check knowing that you had the means to pay also. What if he was kind, thoughtful and was genuinely interested in what was best for you? How would you feel if he put you first in his life but knew how to stay in touch with his boys without going overboard? What if instead of you spending your time, money and energy on trying to make both of your lives easier, that your already raised man made it a point to make your life easier? Ask yourself whether or not you should continue raising your man or if you are deserving of a ready-made man in your life?

“Titles do not define us as People”

We all have a title that we have either created for ourselves or one that has been given to us over time. We are mothers, fathers, mentors, teachers, leaders, doctors, preachers, comedians, etc. Have you ever asked yourself, do I ever take off my “title” hat and just be you without your hat? Have you ever called someone close to you to share something with them that perhaps you were proud of and they were critical or stated they wouldn’t have done that if it were them? What about a teacher who is always teaching when everyone just wants to relax or have fun, is every moment a teaching moment? How about a religious person that always finds a reason to preach? Are you the comedian that thinks everything is funny when perhaps a joke is not appropriate? There is a time and place for everything. Are you lost without your title hat on?

Titles do not define who we are but may just indicate what our passion is or just simply what we are good at. Mothers should be mothers to their children, not to everyone they come in contact with. We are people first, and then are titles are secondary and should not be what people see as soon as we walk in the room. It may be a good idea to occasionally take your title hat off and be okay with putting it on when someone asks you to be your passion. When someone needs your expertise then game on! Show them your passion and the value that you provide when your title hat is on.

“Everyone deserves a second chance”

Have you ever found yourself in the position where you didn’t know how you arrived at the place or this situation that you are currently in? Life can spiral out of control and before you know it you have made a grave mistake. Sometimes our mistakes or bad decisions are because of our knowing what are we are doing or it could be a reaction to what someone else has done to us. It could be due to ignorance as we simply didn’t know what we didn’t know. Once we’ve made our mistake and it has affected another person or group, how do we rebound from what we have done? Should our mistake follow us around for the rest of our lives or for the rest of our relationship with the person we have negatively affected? The mistake was bad enough on its own merits, but the lasting affect could be even more impactful. Should we get a second chance?

Life is about experiences and we can learn so much from those experiences. We were not afforded an instruction manual that tells us what to do in every situation. Our parents or those that have helped to raise us have given us guidance and the tools to make good decisions. When we make bad decisions, primarily because we are human and imperfect, unfortunately we have to suffer the consequences of our decisions. When was the last time someone gave you a second chance when you made a bad decision? Not only do we need to be given a second chance or two, we need to also be the ones open to giving out a second chance. There are going to certainly be the “deal breakers”, those instances where giving a second chance is just not in the cards or reasonable. We can still handle those instances by giving constructive criticism hoping to help that person learn from their mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance and there will be a time where we will need it too!

“Are we building wealth in our lives?”

There are more things that contribute to whether or not our lives are filled with wealth other than money or financial security. Our degree of wealth is really determined by us not by anyone else. Our lives can be far different than those we know simply because of whom we surround ourselves with and what type of life makes us happy. Knowing what our wealth looks like can help us to stay on the right path and not get distracted by chasing someone else’s idea of what a prosperous life is. What are the things that are important to you? Is it time, knowledge, experiences, money or all of the above?

Some of us value time more than other things in life. Time could be related to the amount and quality of time spent with our families. Time could be the amount of time in which we can allocate to things we love to do outside of the work, school or the responsibilities of adulthood. Energy could be just as important, the amount of energy we have may be an important determiner of what we spend that energy on. Energy could also be the quality of that energy, is it negative or positive energy that surrounds our life. Knowledge may be a driving force in our level of wealth; do we seek out knowledge everyday through the vast knowledge that exists within the internet? Our pursuit of knowledge could be in the level of education we seek whether college, an advanced degree or a specialty skill as these may determine the level of our wealth. For some of us experience may be more important to us than anything else. If we like to travel or seek out new adventures we feel wealthy with the things and places we have experienced. Lastly, money can certainly be a source of wealth in which we determine what is appropriate. For some of us wealth is owning a home, retiring without fear of being in poverty, having a million dollars or more, or just having options to deal with life’s challenges. Regardless of what determines your wealth we should all be aware of which source(s) of wealth are of importance to us and go after that.

“Every exit is an entrance to a new experience!”

Have you ever felt bad as something significant changed in your life and you were hesitant to look forward? Moving from your current home or to a new city, leaving a job or leaving a long time relationship could all be instances that bring about fear. If we are resistant to the change that is occurring or has already occurred, it may be causing us unnecessary stress and other negative effects. Have you ever thought about why change is such a bad thing in our eyes? How we handle these significant changes could also negatively affect our family or others that care about us. Being open to change (like Day) could make all the difference in the world when change is upon us. It may be time for you to view significant changes in your life or exits as an entrance to a new experience in your life.

Leaving your current home or moving to a new city, leaving a job or even leaving a long time relationship could all be the exit you need to go through in order to enter a new experience. Looking at change as a positive experience can have many benefits for us. The only thing in life that is constant is change and approaching change head on with a positive outlook is the right way to go. Accepting the change for what it is instead of kicking and screaming is step one. Don’t waste precious time and energy on looking backwards but instead, formulate a plan to make the change work well for you. Moving to a new home could be your chance to put yourself in a better financial place or it could provide a better living environment that is a boost for your mental state. Leaving a long time job to go to a new company and a new job could be a great time to reset your career. It’s a chance to establish new business relationships, add to your business skills and experience, or move to a company that has a culture that is more in line with your preferences. What about a long term relationship, moving on from one could be a great opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and broaden your experiences. A relationship reset is a chance for you to apply what you have learned from the previous missteps you have made. As we walk through life’s exits, let’s not look back as we open a new door in our lives. Open your next new door with cautious excitement as you move forward to new experiences.

“Make the best out of what you have and make it work for you!”

It’s safe to say that we all want more out of life than we currently have but it takes time and effort to get our life the way we really want it to be. The reality is that we may never get to the ideal life no matter how hard we try. Appreciating what we have now with the understanding that future accomplishments will be icing on the cake will help us be more appreciative of what we have today. Do you have friends or family who are always complaining that their life is so awful? There is nothing worse than complainers that don’t take any action to change their circumstances and continue to complain about the same things over and over again.

If you are not appreciative of what you have in life, remember that there is always going to be someone out there that is doing better than you are as well as someone out there that is doing much worse than you are. Taking a look at what we have and appreciating it can go a long way in how we approach each day. If you have been at your job for more than 3 years is it really that bad? Is your spouse or mate, who is essentially the same person you fell in love with way back when, really that bad? Make a list of all the things that are going well in your life, be honest, and then make a list of all the things you want to change or add in your life. If your list of things that are going well in your life is longer than the list of changes or additions, then life may not be so bad after all. Once you come to the realization that life is really not as bad as you make it out to be, spend more energy on the list of changes or additions and make your life that much better. We will all do well by making the best out of what we have today.

“Have you ever had a life preserver in your life?”

It goes without saying that life can be a handful at times and without some much needed help in our lives we might not survive! By now we may have been told that we should not always lean on our own understanding. That implies that we need help throughout life and we simply do not have all the answers or at least the correct answers. We have all kicked ourselves because we made a misstep or just screwed things up. Most if not all of us have a network of friends, family or coworkers that we can lean on from time to time to keep us honest or provide much needed guidance. If we let our stubbornness get the best of us by refusing to reach out to others for help, we are just asking for a rocky road. Think back to the last time you made a misstep and ask yourself what could you have done differently to make that situation a more positive one? If you went at it alone, maybe just maybe it could have been a different outcome had you been open to assistance.

The people in our lives that have or can help us can feel like life savers in so many instances. Have you ever heard someone be so gracious that they referred to the person that helped them as their life saver? We use the term life saver loosely; however, when you think of the literal term and its importance it makes so much sense. Imagine you are not a strong swimmer at all, you just fell overboard and the seas are rough, what are the odds that you will save yourself? You may last a few minutes at best as you struggle to stay afloat. As soon as the boat crew takes action and tosses out the life preserver, a sigh of relief comes over you because without assistance you more than likely would not survive. The next time you are trouble or are contemplating an important decision, look to your live saver for help. If we utilize the life savers that have been placed in our lives, our chances of survival with each new challenge or decision may just turn out to be better than it would if we only relied on our self.

“Instead of asking why me, ask yourself why not me?”

We witness success all around us on the television, in the news, our friends, our coworkers and we should expect the same for ourselves. When opportunities become available do we automatically count ourselves out, if so why? We should all define what success looks like for us, not our parents or friends or family. If we want success we have to first believe in ourselves and make it happen. We are quick to provide all the reasons why we will not or should not be considered for a great opportunity in life. We are quick to say “why would anyone consider me?” Since we have thought long and hard about why we cannot achieve something, we are doing ourselves a disservice and essentially getting in our own way!

Instead of asking why me, ask why not me! Focus on all of the reasons we can achieve something or what we need to do to get us closer to where we want to be. Small successes lead to bigger successes that can lead to even bigger successes. Life is a process and we will do well to follow the steps to success. We can all achieve what we put our minds to, the most important aspects of success is our self-belief and the efforts we put forth to achieving our goals. The next time a great opportunity presents itself, ask yourself why not me?