“Grow through what you go through”

Let me start by saying that life is difficult, challenging, exhausting and so much more. Life is an experience and we are taught every day of our lives something new. We go through things that we cannot plan for and things that break us down little by little. Life can be so overwhelming at times that we fall into our own funk and the only person that can get us out is ourselves with some help from a higher belief. Life’s challenges often come in three’s, they often come without warning, they sometime never go away or there is no fix for them. What do we do and how do we survive? Do we succumb and be defeated or do we take life head on and not only survive but thrive?

We can grow through what we go through by being students of life. We can learn so much from our successes and failures that we must reflect on them and use our experiences as a source of power. Look back at this year and summarize all of the things you have survived through and highlight what you have learned from each experience. When you put all the things together that life has thrown your way and see how much you have grown from each experience you will be amazed at the ongoing transformation that has taken place. As you take on each challenge you are adding new life muscles to your physique. Just like a workout it’s not easy but the results show over time if you put in the work. The more we grow the more we know. The next time you are in a situation that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, this may just be an indicator that growth is coming or required. Knowing that growth is upon you and embracing the opportunity to grow will allow you to grow through what you go through.

See another great blog at Shunpwrites….

“Are you ready to be in a serious relationship?”

Many of us have a tendency to be in relationships where we or our partner are not in a good place in life or have not found their way. Women, because they are nurturers at heart, often believe they can get a man ready to be in a serious relationship. Women should not take on the task of getting a man ready for a serious relationship up to and including marriage. When the woman puts in the work and doesn’t get what they hoped for in return there is disappointment and resentment. Men may feel the same way if they provide support to a woman that is not appreciated or not reciprocated. Men ask yourselves if you have put in the work before getting involved in serious relationship. Do you know who you are and where you are going? Do you have a plan in place and are you actually making progress? What about your values and priorities, do you know what they are? We should not be dependent on another individual to provide for us, we should be providers first for ourselves which will enable us to contribute to the relationship. If you are making bad decisions over and over again and you do not have the basics in life such a job, a car, your own money, established credit and the ability to take care of yourself then you cannot refer to yourself as an adult. A relationship may not be the best place to be in until you are working on being an adult.

As adults there is going to be a time in our lives where we are finding ourselves, planning, learning and growing. As long as we are striving to do better, evolving, setting goals and working hard to refine ourselves we are going be in a great place as a mate. We may believe that someone is attractive when they are doing positive things in their life. We certainly look at a person’s physical attributes; however, we may pay even more attention to the other aspects of that person’s life. When we are a work in progress, as opposed to being devoid of aspirations, will have no problem attracting a mate that is also a work in progress. We cannot expect to find a great mate if we are not striving for greatness ourselves.

“Take life day by day to endure life’s challenges”

We have all had our rough days that are so bad that we cannot wait until the day ends so we can start over the next day. Our days can vary from one extreme to another where we were happy go lucky and all things are well until a storm of bad news rains upon us. When we receive bad news or some sort of difficult challenge it’s all about what we do next.  Do we let this overwhelming situation affect us so badly that we cannot function? Or do we take the challenge head on with vigor. If we view our lives as a day to day endeavor would this help us to maintain our sanity? Would we make better decisions in the midst of adversity knowing that this is only our challenge for today?

Tomorrow is a new day and with that, tomorrow may be the day you get overwhelmingly good news. Tomorrow may be the day that your life just got better or the day that made up for all of the recent bad days. We need a daily reset button, a good night’s rest, and to wake up with a renewed purpose to tackle today’s challenge or accept today’s good news. Knowing that tomorrow can positively change our perspective in an instant, can help us to endure and persevere day over day. Be an encouraging force to your friends, family, or significant other by letting them know that no matter how bad today is, Tomorrow is a New Day!

Vegas Strong!

“A woman is an important part of a man’s success.”

A woman keeps a man honest, on the straight and narrow path, and challenges him to be a better man than even he thought was possible. A woman will communicate with a man letting him know when he is right or wrong. Women are nurturers and possess the power of motivation and encouragement to both their family and man. A woman in some instances, will believe more in a man than that man believes in himself. A woman simply put,  can see the potential in man when he does not. A woman is a coach on the field of life, regularly telling a man that he can do whatever he puts his mind to. A woman will be there to pick a man up during his failures  and at also be proud as she looks upon his successes. A woman’s power of influence can be vital to a man’s success, which can be key to areas that include fatherhood, career, family and so much more.

Woman should be careful not to lose their independence by putting too much time into a man’s success. Many women have lost their identities as a result of over-investing their time and energy into a man’s success. Do you know a woman that was successful before being in a serious relationship or marriage? After some time the, effects of motherhood and self-sacrifice resulted in a loss of their identity or independence Upon a breakup or divorce the woman is now suffering to take care of herself emotionally, physically and financially due to her love and devotion to her family and mate. A woman can be an important part of a man’s success while also maintaining her identity and independence. If  a man is fortunate enough to have a woman in their life that makes them a better man, women must expect the man to provide the same encouragement and support. A man’s goal should be to ensure that a woman continues to develop her identity and independence throughout the relationship making the relationship even stronger over time.

Please share your thoughts on this topic by adding a comment, looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

 “How is our credit rating with our family and friends?”

A person’s credit rating is defined as “an estimate of the ability of a person to fulfill their financial commitments, based on previous dealings.”(www.vocabulary.com) If we reword this definition so it relates to friends and family we can come up with a similar definition. A person’s relationship credit rating could be defined as an estimate of the ability of a person to fulfill their relationship commitments based on previous dealings. What does this mean? Relationships are based on the concept of give and take, not take and take. If within our relationships we are only taking, then our credit rating may not be so good. Do we ask or receive help from others but we do not make ourselves available to return the favor. If we are not dependable or reliable within our relationships but our friends and family are, then our credit rating with them may be less than desirable. Are we that person that says I will be there at 8:00 pm, and then we cancel at the last minute giving an unbelievable excuse or reason? What about our behavior? Are we that friend or family member that is always so dramatic or the one that makes everyone in the room question our motives? We can negatively affect our relationship credit rating when we are in the unfortunate position where we need to borrow money from a friend or family member and we don’t go out of our way to repay what we borrowed. We should not be hunted down by the person that so graciously loaned us money, we should be proactive to pay this person back or at least regularly communicate if we cannot repay the loan as originally agreed.

We can improve or repair our relationship credit rating by being better friends and family. When we hear our friends and family are in need of support or just a listening ear, let’s give back to the relationship by making ourselves available. We can do this by being reliable and just doing what we say we are going to do. We can reach out to the person that instilled trust in us to pay back a loan by reaching out to them when your ability to pay them back has changed. We can treat our friends and family like a business should treat their customers, we simply want our interactions to be good experiences each and every time. When our financial credit rating is good we benefit from a good rating by being able to obtain a loan for something important that we need or want. When our relationship credit rating is good, there is a mutual benefit that is realized by those we have relationships with resulting in a more fulfilling life for us. We should look for ways to improve our relationship credit rating as it can always be improved.

Please share your thoughts on this topic by adding a comment, looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

“People come into your life for: a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.”

We all have people that come in and out of our lives for one reason or another. Whether they are in our lives for a specific reason, a certain season, or for a lifetime could make all the difference in the world. Have you been in a point in your life where you were faced with a difficult challenge and someone came into your life to help you through it? Was that person placed in your life for just that reason? Looking back at that challenging time, could we have made it through that challenge without that person? People come into our lives and they may be there just in the nick of time to give us that momentary inspiration, those words of wisdom, or to simply help us see what others have not been able to show us. A season is a little longer and could have a transitional purpose as to why this person came into your life. Leaving a long relationship such as marriage can be one of the most difficult things we are ever faced with. When do we begin dating again? When we start to date are we opening our hearts to love again? Maybe a person for a season is needed to help us heal and open our hearts and minds to a better relationship. Our person for a season can help us laugh again, feel again, want again. We may just need to get over the hump so that we are ready when the right person comes along for a lifetime.

When a person comes into our lives for a lifetime this person will be impactful to our lives. It could be our best friend, our sibling, or our life partner. This person for a lifetime is going to be there through thick and thin. There is an exchange of ongoing support, caring, love and so much more. These are the people that we smile at when we think back about the good ole times. This is the person that you share a special moment with, or if they are not there, you wish they were there so that you can share that time with them. It is important that we are self-aware about those that have or will come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You may have a new person in your life that fits into one or more of these categories. Is it possible to have a person that fits into all of these? Could they be for a specific reason initially, then later for a season, and finally they end up in your life for a lifetime?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic so please leave a comment. To get future notifications when there are new posts you can follow the blog by signing up to follow. – Thanks

“We all need regular resets to keep us on track in life.”

Is your life in disarray, heading in the right direction or ready for a reset? We all fall into one of these three classifications or stages in life. We have all been in a place of disarray at some point in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. Disarray is a feeling that nothing is going right, we have no goals established, we are struggling with our finances, health, family, in our careers or even our relationships. What about heading in the right direction? Are you working on achieving a short term goal, are your finances rounding into shape, are you working on a new opportunity for growth at your job or are you growing individually through education?  When you feel that your goals or objectives are in motion, there is optimism as you approach each day along with direction and purpose in your life. Heading in the right direction feels like you are in control of your life, there is a feeling of confidence and you are prepared for the next new challenge in your life. Staying the course and perseverance are keys to achieving your goals in life. As you achieve your goals in life, hit the reset button by setting a new goal to continue your success. No matter what classification we acknowledge we are in, we all need regular resets in life to stay focused and have continued growth.

Divorce or any significant breakup can certainly put us in a place of disarray! Everything has changed, there is no feeling of stability, we now have to be self-sufficient and our life is spiraling out of control. For years we have lived with our significant other making life decisions as though we would be together forever. Now there is only one income to depend on and that may not be enough to support the decisions that were made based on having two incomes. On top of the emotions involved with divorce, the instability and having no mate to depend on, now there is financial strain as you try to figure out how to keep things in order when it may be impossible. Your life is in disarray! It’s time to take action and remove this feeling of disarray by being honest as to what changes need to happen fast. The only way to make positive changes is to start setting goals, for example you may need to downsize in order to eliminate the financial strain that now exists. Be realistic in what you can afford, it may be a temporary setback as you begin to dig out of your financial strain. When there are plans with goals, there is hope! Now that you have put in motion your plans to downsize, you start to feel better and there is a feeling that you are finally heading in the right direction.  You are in your new place, the kids are settled, you can pay the bills and now there is a new feeling of stability. Now it’s time to hit the reset button and set a new goal. To generate more income and get that higher paying job you may need more skills or education.  In your marriage there was never the time or urgency to go back to school so why not set this as your next goal? You sign up for classes, school is now part of your regular routine and you are steadily making progress. Once again you are heading in the right direction in life and you can feel great about where you are headed.  There is momentum in your life and you are in full control. Before you know it graduation is upon you and success is no longer out of reach but it is expected. Are you thinking about what’s next, is your next goal to go for that new job?  Disarray certainly is far different from heading in the right direction or being ready for a reset. Achieving one or more of your goals is an indicator that it’s time to hit the reset button. We can all use goal setting to get us out of disarray and heading in the right direction ; as we achieve our goals hit the reset button to determine what’s next for us in life.

Please share your thoughts on this topic by adding a comment, looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

“Do you work harder at your career or running your business than you do your own household?”

We put a ton of effort into being successful at our profession or as a student but do we give the same effort with our own households? Do you have a home business plan? Is your home organized? Is your home profitable (savings)? Does your home have a strategic plan that leads to a happy home? These are all questions that every business owner should look at or their business will eventually fold. We can apply the same principles that business owners apply with our home life. It may be an adjustment in the beginning but the result will be one that was worth the effort.

Your home business plan can consist of where you want to live and how much you want to allocate to the cost of your home. Since a home is our biggest monthly expense it is in our best interest for us to choose wisely by living within our needs not our means (ability to spend.) Organization is key to any business so make sure your house is organized in key areas such as important papers/documents, items that are needed for upkeep and maintenance, and inventory such as food and supplies. Having a budget and knowing where your money is being spent is vital to the success of your home business. Minimizing or eliminating credit card debt is great for your home business’ bottom line. Having two or even one car payment may hinder your ability to save money, so choosing cars that last with the expectation that when the car is paid for, you have the ability to go without having one car payment for a minimum of one year. When you have planned out your home life, your expenses are within your needs, the results are savings month over month. Make sure you know the results of your smart decisions, by checking in each month to see how your profits are coming. Saving $400.00 per month should net you with $4800.00 of annual profits (savings.) When you pay off a bill, take that same money and now pay yourself which will add your profits. As you see, this approach can resemble a business and you can make it fun along the way. Work hard at work and work harder at your home business.

“Is loving on the same level realistic?”

If we are fortunate we will fall in love at least once in our lifetime, possibly more than once. Look at your current relationship or a relationship from the past, did you love at the same level? If you’ve ever felt like your partner or mate didn’t love you the same as you loved them, it was probably a source of contention whether you knew it or not. Love can be the driving force that determines how much effort you or your partner put into the relationship. It can be very obvious when one partner puts more effort into the relationship or regularly says we instead of I,  or is always thinking about the other person first and does things for their partner automatically. When the same level of love is not present, the higher level lover is more than likely putting more into the relationship than they are receiving in return. Thus, the source of contention begins; questions begin to arise as to why the effort level is just not the same. The lower level lover thinks nothing is wrong because their effort level is comparable to their love level. Eventually the uneven love levels are enough to dissolve the relationship.

If your partner and you loved at the same or near the same levels how different would your relationship be? When you have a project to do at work or around the house and you need help, wouldn’t you choose someone that is going to match your same level of effort and pull their weight? The same concept can be applied to relationships; we need a partner that pulls their love weight. To be at the same love level means to be on the same page or to love in harmony. Although love levels can be subjective, you definitely know it when someone does not love you in the same manner that you love that person. The relationship can surely work; however, how much better would it be if your partner loved you just as much as you loved them? Their effort level, their actions, and the amount of love returned to you would not only be tangible but you would feel it in your soul.

“Are you ready for the next opportunity that presents itself?”

Most if not all of us have aspirations to do new things in our personal and/or career lives, but are we ready? Ask yourself have you thought about what you want to do next, or have you done anything in preparation for the next opportunity that presents itself. This may require forward thinking a concept of visioning what you want the future to look like. Our vision may be slightly different than what actually transpires but having somewhat of an idea of what you want can certainly be helpful. Anticipating how a new opportunity might be a positive addition to your life can make for a good experience.

Are you willing to embrace change or are you a resistor to change? Do you frown at risks or things that make you feel a bit uncomfortable? There is a difference between taking a risk compared to taking a calculated risk. A calculated risk requires information gathering, weighing the pros and cons, and looking at the before and after effects of the new opportunity in your life. Life is an adventure so be adventurous and expand your comfort level range. Too often we shy away from a new opportunity, one because we have not thought about new possibilities, or two we automatically dismiss the opportunity because it is so different from anything we have done before. We should all regularly carve out some time to think about what new opportunities we would embrace or be open to undertaking. The importance of forward thinking, embracing change and expanding your comfort range will more than likely result in personal and professional growth.