“Are you ready to be in a serious relationship?”

Many of us have a tendency to be in relationships where we or our partner are not in a good place in life or have not found their way. Women, because they are nurturers at heart, often believe they can get a man ready to be in a serious relationship. Women should not take on the task of getting a man ready for a serious relationship up to and including marriage. When the woman puts in the work and doesn’t get what they hoped for in return there is disappointment and resentment. Men may feel the same way if they provide support to a woman that is not appreciated or not reciprocated. Men ask yourselves if you have put in the work before getting involved in serious relationship. Do you know who you are and where you are going? Do you have a plan in place and are you actually making progress? What about your values and priorities, do you know what they are? We should not be dependent on another individual to provide for us, we should be providers first for ourselves which will enable us to contribute to the relationship. If you are making bad decisions over and over again and you do not have the basics in life such a job, a car, your own money, established credit and the ability to take care of yourself then you cannot refer to yourself as an adult. A relationship may not be the best place to be in until you are working on being an adult.

As adults there is going to be a time in our lives where we are finding ourselves, planning, learning and growing. As long as we are striving to do better, evolving, setting goals and working hard to refine ourselves we are going be in a great place as a mate. We may believe that someone is attractive when they are doing positive things in their life. We certainly look at a person’s physical attributes; however, we may pay even more attention to the other aspects of that person’s life. When we are a work in progress, as opposed to being devoid of aspirations, will have no problem attracting a mate that is also a work in progress. We cannot expect to find a great mate if we are not striving for greatness ourselves.