love

Day 59 – It’s a Man’s World

Mark S. , , , ,

“Build a world that is inviting to a woman!”

Do you know a man whose world is filled with chaos, unhealthy habits, immaturity, and lacks goals and stability? Men still want to attract a good woman up to and including marriage. Some women get in the trap of trying to date a man based on the potential they see in him without any tangible justifications. His current living conditions are an indication of what his future would be like. He does not have to have an expensive home but that does not mean it should be clean, furnished, and organized. Is he self-sufficient and has a handle on life’s responsibilities? Is he concerned with health and wellness? Does he have an excellent work ethic and values a stable career? Why would a woman join a man’s world with no vision or goals that forecast what life would be like in a long-term relationship with him? 

A man’s world should be inviting to a woman and characterized by stability, family oriented, financial independence, protection, adventurous, and always evolving. When you walk into a man’s place you should light up as though you could see yourself making his house into a home. His place is clean and has all the essentials needed. He has a career or is working hard to establish a career that allows him to be a provider. His approach is organized, and she can envision him taking the lead with her best interest at heart. He has demonstrated success, and she can see how her support can expedite his progress. He has a life vision that is limitless and she desires to be an essential part of it. As men, we will do well in life by creating an attractive world that a deserving women would love to join. 

Day 58 – Sacrifice vs. Compromise

Mark S. , , , ,

“Replace sacrifice with compromise”

Do you know someone whose life is not ideal simply because they have and continue to sacrifice too many things in their life for the happiness of others? Many failed relationships are a result of one person sacrificing so much that they have lost their identity, no longer feel relevant, and/or are visibly unhappy. Sacrifice is defined as the act of giving up or losing something of value for the sake of something else. You can sacrifice your time, your hobbies or interests, your career goals, your money, your lifestyle, or your family to name a few in order to appease someone else with the goal to make them happy. The cost of sacrificing so much can be devastating to say the least.

Instead of sacrificing things in our lives we should make use of compromise, so we do not give up too much. The core of compromise is “give-and-take” where each side gets part of what they want, but not all of it. If you have an activity or hobby that you enjoyed doing often when you were not in a relationship and now your partner is concerned that this is cutting into your relationship quality time what should you do? Instead of giving it up completely, you can offer to do it less times per week so you can dedicate time to your relationship. If you like to shop and your partner wants you to stop shopping to instead pay for a vacation, then agree to shop less and set aside money to help pay for a vacation. What about career aspirations, one person should not give up on their goals but instead can agree to pause their goals temporarily until their partner is done with their immediate goal. From there each person can continue to alternate achieving their goals so both are growing. Family time can be a significant part of one’s life especially if you have a large or dependent family. You should not sacrifice your family relationships for your relationship but instead balance your time and resources between both. Compromise is a win-win approach to ensure that each person is not sacrificing too much and has balance in their life