Day 33 – The Foundation Of Relationships

Mark S.

“Relationships are born from the things, interests, and people we have in common.”

If you had no friends or a significant other how would you go about finding new relationships? What are the things that you would want in these new relationships? As we look around at the people that are in our lives, those that we have the best relationships with are often those we have so much in common with. We enjoy the same interests such as recreation, foods, hobbies, passions etc. and these commonalities serve as the foundation that we build our relationships upon. When these commonalities don’t exist or change, there is often a loss of interest, less time spent together, or regular disagreements. The beginning of a really great relationship often starts with; I like that too, really me too, no kidding what a coincidence. It is important to know what the relationshipfoundation is for each of our relationships, what we love about our relationships, what the benefits of our relationships are, and what is required to successfully maintain our relationships.

Take a look at one of your closest relationships as ask yourself how much do the two of you have in common. Do you have fifty percent of the same things in common? Or is it sixty, seventy, or even eighty percent of the same things in common. I have learned that my best relationships have at least seventy percent of the same things in common if not more. There is an ease in talking, planning out the day, planning a trip, where or what to eat, life priorities including education, family, finance, health, fitness and more. The relationship has a distinct feeling of happiness, support, encouragement, and an overall healthy disposition. What about the things that the relationship does not have in common? Those things become unique characteristics of each person that make them who they are. It is the individual interests that allow each person time away from the relationship and serves as a healthy reminder of how great it is to experience someone that you have so much in common with. The old saying is that opposites attract; should the new saying be “commonalities not only attract, but last”?

9 thoughts on “Day 33 – The Foundation Of Relationships”

  1. I truly agree that it’s the foundation in conjunction with the things you have in common that = a success and healthy relationship. If you can connect with someone that you have a minimum of 50% things in common or that makes you excited about the person your in a relationship with, count it a blessing and above all appreciate and nourish that relationship and let no outside forces ruin it! Great posting keep up the inspiring writing.

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  2. It is such an interesting observation, that with our closest relationships we have many things in common. For me, that is the case as I feel that helps me get along with the other person. I think many of us want to connect with others around us and we often do that through the similarities we share. If we have the same interests, chances are we might share the same values and beliefs as the other person and so feel more comfortable with them, and be on the same wavelength. If we do have differences, that is a great opportunity to learn from each other, which should also be a component of every great relationship.

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    • Mabel thank you for your comments, I love the addition of values and beliefs to the equation. These are very important to consider, if these are not in synch then ithere may be more conflict than desired.

      Mark

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  3. Lovely rhetoric on relationship and commonalities. In most cases we think more about love than what we have in common that strengthens relationship. Could that be because affectionate feelings precipitate love more than the commonalities because of the physical attractions? But whichever one comes first relationship is built on commonalities making the saying ‘like attracts like’ seems more reasonable than the ‘opposites
    attract’.

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    • Agreed, I do believe we start with physical attractions but we shouldn’t stop there. If there is not commonality that leads to great conversations, that in turn leads to great experiences, I don’t see how the physical attraction has the needed staying power unless the relationship evolves into friends with benefits. Thank you for you comment.

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  4. I don’t think great relationships have to start with attraction. Now a close friend of mine, I did not understand her at all at first. She seemed distant and I couldn’t read her. Normally I can read people, but with her I didn’t know what she thought or how to react. After a while we found similarities, which lead to us being very good friends now. Due to this, I agree that commonalities are important. However, some differences make it more interesting, as Mabel said. You can learn from each other. Accordingly, commonalities lead to friendship, but you need some time to deepen it. Just commonalities doesn’t make you friends.

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